Experiences of self-acceptance

Self-acceptance can be a vague theme. Well I've experienced 2 things the last month that I would definetily put into the category of self-acceptance. So here it is:

This night I had a good conversation with a girl that I don't speak much in real life, but we know each other quite some time on msn.

In this conversation I was being the most genuine person I could be about myself, without knowing if it was a smart to do. She could attack me really hard on some things I've said. But she didn't, she was being really genuine back to me, which gave a cool conversation and gave me a lot of information about people skills (I always look for that kind of stuff).

Anyways back in the car I realised that the risk I made was kind of huge. To just put yourself out there with the bare truth with no wall in sight to hide behind. Because of this I respect this behaviour really much from myself, and the rewards you can get from other people being this way are so big! It's awesome. I fellt really tingly in my whole body by realising all this. Which gave me the idea that I am on the path that I want to be and I want to push this behaviour. Because my block is that I still have a bit of fear for the chance that people could try to misuse my genuinity. But I think that it is way better than to cope/deal with the 'attacks' that people inflict on you than to live in the fear of being attacked by people, just because you're being genuine.

The second thing that gave me much respect for myself was my ability to handle a situation with a girl who gave me a lot of (emotional) pain and stress by misusing my trust. I was feeling all miserable and suddenly I told myself the old realisation that if people are sad, then the happinness is underneath it, therefore you're always happy.

Sidenote:
I believe this because organisms need positivity in order to survive, it can be material or emotional. It doesn't matter in which form the positivity comes. Without it we wouldn't be living at all (material) or we would be close to comitting suicide (negative). So from an evolutionary biology standpoint it seems kind of logical.

Anyway, when I 're-realised' my old realisation I got from feeling miserable to cheery in just a second. Also I got this thought that I will never feel myself being alone, because there is always one person that can cheer me up even in the most dire situations, namely: me. I mean why not cheer yourself up? You're the person that knows yourself the best! ;-)

For this action I suddenly saw that I have this abbility and that I can handle every situation and cheer myself up if needed. Then again by seeing this I got all tingly over my body and had enormous respect for myself again.

So to recap, you can accept yourself more if:
- you respect yourself for being the most genuine person you can be at anytime by pushing all the fears aside that you have and just be it.
- you respect yourself for the fact that you can watch out for yourself when it is really needed.

It's also a funny fact that I had both experiences in the car. Maybe there is a link between me, cars and creativity.

Richy

Having fun in the park

So as some of might you know, I have this tendency with beautiful girls. I walk up to them, am really nervous but still talk to them in almost any situation. Which is in my mind a rare combination to see.

Friday I had this tendency again. I saw 2 beautiful girls playing volleyball. I like beautiful girls but was nervous (again) to just go up and talk to them. But I also like volleyball and wanted to tag along for a game. So I went up and basically asked if I could join and there we were playing. We were a bit goofy with the 3 of us while we were playing, part of it was because I had the sunglasses on my head from 1 girl for no particular reason.

Anyway, I noticed that they belonged to this whole group of people who I also began to talk to and noticed that they were having a birthday party. After 2 hours and some hilarious birthday games later one of them asks me:"Why don't you join us for the house party at 10 'o clock?"

I just love it when random stuff like this happens. Especially if it happens trough some interest that you like: volleyball! :-D