Ever saw a stranger on the street walking up to you and just say hi and you 2 started a conversation? I know I didn´t, but just for fun I wanted to be that stranger to someone. The idea came spontaneously in my head when there was a woman walking 1 meter next to me in a busy street and she was the only one walking next to me. It was like the 2 of us were in the same walking group and knew each other already.
So just for fun I said:
"Hi!"
Her:"Hey"
Me:"You know what I think is kinda odd? It´s when people walk alone and are bored to death that they don´t talk to anyone, but just keep quiet and stay bored."
And we started a conversation about it.
I didn´t had any particular thing to go to so I walked with her to her gym and said goodbye after a 25 minute fun playful conversation about aliens that are kidnapping her and me. And there were other more serious subjects as well. But I guess that 25 to 30 year old people secretely want to talk about aliens kidnapping them ;-)
Anyway, for anyone who´s reading this, try it too just for fun! It might be scary - it was certainly scary for me - but who knows what happens. I think I´m going to do this more often, just for the fun of it.
So if you see a stranger walking up to you and say hi prepare yourself. It might just be me :-P
Cheers!
Richy
maandag 12 oktober 2009
zaterdag 12 september 2009
Going away for 8 months
Well, I'll be updating my blog more frequently now, as it's going to act as a journal while I'm away. I'm excited to go away and my first destination will be Prague!
Cheers
Cheers
dinsdag 7 juli 2009
Experiences of self-acceptance
Self-acceptance can be a vague theme. Well I've experienced 2 things the last month that I would definetily put into the category of self-acceptance. So here it is:
This night I had a good conversation with a girl that I don't speak much in real life, but we know each other quite some time on msn.
In this conversation I was being the most genuine person I could be about myself, without knowing if it was a smart to do. She could attack me really hard on some things I've said. But she didn't, she was being really genuine back to me, which gave a cool conversation and gave me a lot of information about people skills (I always look for that kind of stuff).
Anyways back in the car I realised that the risk I made was kind of huge. To just put yourself out there with the bare truth with no wall in sight to hide behind. Because of this I respect this behaviour really much from myself, and the rewards you can get from other people being this way are so big! It's awesome. I fellt really tingly in my whole body by realising all this. Which gave me the idea that I am on the path that I want to be and I want to push this behaviour. Because my block is that I still have a bit of fear for the chance that people could try to misuse my genuinity. But I think that it is way better than to cope/deal with the 'attacks' that people inflict on you than to live in the fear of being attacked by people, just because you're being genuine.
The second thing that gave me much respect for myself was my ability to handle a situation with a girl who gave me a lot of (emotional) pain and stress by misusing my trust. I was feeling all miserable and suddenly I told myself the old realisation that if people are sad, then the happinness is underneath it, therefore you're always happy.
Sidenote:
I believe this because organisms need positivity in order to survive, it can be material or emotional. It doesn't matter in which form the positivity comes. Without it we wouldn't be living at all (material) or we would be close to comitting suicide (negative). So from an evolutionary biology standpoint it seems kind of logical.
Anyway, when I 're-realised' my old realisation I got from feeling miserable to cheery in just a second. Also I got this thought that I will never feel myself being alone, because there is always one person that can cheer me up even in the most dire situations, namely: me. I mean why not cheer yourself up? You're the person that knows yourself the best! ;-)
For this action I suddenly saw that I have this abbility and that I can handle every situation and cheer myself up if needed. Then again by seeing this I got all tingly over my body and had enormous respect for myself again.
So to recap, you can accept yourself more if:
- you respect yourself for being the most genuine person you can be at anytime by pushing all the fears aside that you have and just be it.
- you respect yourself for the fact that you can watch out for yourself when it is really needed.
It's also a funny fact that I had both experiences in the car. Maybe there is a link between me, cars and creativity.
Richy
This night I had a good conversation with a girl that I don't speak much in real life, but we know each other quite some time on msn.
In this conversation I was being the most genuine person I could be about myself, without knowing if it was a smart to do. She could attack me really hard on some things I've said. But she didn't, she was being really genuine back to me, which gave a cool conversation and gave me a lot of information about people skills (I always look for that kind of stuff).
Anyways back in the car I realised that the risk I made was kind of huge. To just put yourself out there with the bare truth with no wall in sight to hide behind. Because of this I respect this behaviour really much from myself, and the rewards you can get from other people being this way are so big! It's awesome. I fellt really tingly in my whole body by realising all this. Which gave me the idea that I am on the path that I want to be and I want to push this behaviour. Because my block is that I still have a bit of fear for the chance that people could try to misuse my genuinity. But I think that it is way better than to cope/deal with the 'attacks' that people inflict on you than to live in the fear of being attacked by people, just because you're being genuine.
The second thing that gave me much respect for myself was my ability to handle a situation with a girl who gave me a lot of (emotional) pain and stress by misusing my trust. I was feeling all miserable and suddenly I told myself the old realisation that if people are sad, then the happinness is underneath it, therefore you're always happy.
Sidenote:
I believe this because organisms need positivity in order to survive, it can be material or emotional. It doesn't matter in which form the positivity comes. Without it we wouldn't be living at all (material) or we would be close to comitting suicide (negative). So from an evolutionary biology standpoint it seems kind of logical.
Anyway, when I 're-realised' my old realisation I got from feeling miserable to cheery in just a second. Also I got this thought that I will never feel myself being alone, because there is always one person that can cheer me up even in the most dire situations, namely: me. I mean why not cheer yourself up? You're the person that knows yourself the best! ;-)
For this action I suddenly saw that I have this abbility and that I can handle every situation and cheer myself up if needed. Then again by seeing this I got all tingly over my body and had enormous respect for myself again.
So to recap, you can accept yourself more if:
- you respect yourself for being the most genuine person you can be at anytime by pushing all the fears aside that you have and just be it.
- you respect yourself for the fact that you can watch out for yourself when it is really needed.
It's also a funny fact that I had both experiences in the car. Maybe there is a link between me, cars and creativity.
Richy
zaterdag 4 juli 2009
Having fun in the park
So as some of might you know, I have this tendency with beautiful girls. I walk up to them, am really nervous but still talk to them in almost any situation. Which is in my mind a rare combination to see.
Friday I had this tendency again. I saw 2 beautiful girls playing volleyball. I like beautiful girls but was nervous (again) to just go up and talk to them. But I also like volleyball and wanted to tag along for a game. So I went up and basically asked if I could join and there we were playing. We were a bit goofy with the 3 of us while we were playing, part of it was because I had the sunglasses on my head from 1 girl for no particular reason.
Anyway, I noticed that they belonged to this whole group of people who I also began to talk to and noticed that they were having a birthday party. After 2 hours and some hilarious birthday games later one of them asks me:"Why don't you join us for the house party at 10 'o clock?"
I just love it when random stuff like this happens. Especially if it happens trough some interest that you like: volleyball! :-D
Friday I had this tendency again. I saw 2 beautiful girls playing volleyball. I like beautiful girls but was nervous (again) to just go up and talk to them. But I also like volleyball and wanted to tag along for a game. So I went up and basically asked if I could join and there we were playing. We were a bit goofy with the 3 of us while we were playing, part of it was because I had the sunglasses on my head from 1 girl for no particular reason.
Anyway, I noticed that they belonged to this whole group of people who I also began to talk to and noticed that they were having a birthday party. After 2 hours and some hilarious birthday games later one of them asks me:"Why don't you join us for the house party at 10 'o clock?"
I just love it when random stuff like this happens. Especially if it happens trough some interest that you like: volleyball! :-D
maandag 29 juni 2009
Meaning something to other people
I just listened some audio tapes of the audio book from Keith Ferazzi - Never Eat Alone. And in one chapter he talks about investing some time to help other people with their dreams. And I have this feeling that if you want to form genuine relationships with new people helping them will really be a good 'social glue' to make that happen. You can help them by giving some information that you know about the subject or try to see if people you know can help them.
I'm going to set a goal here thanks of this idea.
1 month before I'm going to do my gap year I'm going to make 'a newsletter' to all my friends that I know and just sent everything that I've learned that month and/or that I think is worth knowing.
I'm going to set a goal here thanks of this idea.
1 month before I'm going to do my gap year I'm going to make 'a newsletter' to all my friends that I know and just sent everything that I've learned that month and/or that I think is worth knowing.
vrijdag 26 juni 2009
Stuff I did that I thought that wasn't possible or just inspired me (back in the old days)
Before I decided to write this blog I also did all kinds of things to see what is and isn't possible. Here is a list of the things that is possible:
Amsterdam (or near Amsterdam):
- Calling on a strangers house who shows signs that they graduated from some school and congratulate them and make friends with them
- Going into a club for free by pretending you're a tourist to the bouncer so that he'll forgive you that you 'forgot your bracelet'.
- Going out alone, approach a tourist you don't know and decide to party with him! Eventually I was in an afterparty with him and 20 other people we met somewhere in a café.
- Being 'beaten up' by 20 females of a hen party :-P
- Getting a number from a girl you think is attractive in less than 10 seconds (my bus stop didn't wait for me)
London:
- Approaching 7 groups of girls and almost get everyones phone number! (I'm dutch maybe it helps but I just asked almost every group "where is picadilly circus" or something like that)
- Meeting a gay guy in London that has a dad who owns 3 night clubs in the centre of the city.
Stockholm:
- going into a party for 23 and older while you're 18 (tip: sneak in when the bouncer doesn't look, yes it requires luck)
- Stockholm to Amsterdam: make it a mission to approach and talk to everyone on the plane and see what happens! You'll hear a lot of cool stories.
- In Stockholm there were so many things that happened, because I wanted to meet every beautiful girl and cool guy I saw. And there are a lot of cool guys and beautiful girls! :-) And beauty can also be a form of spontaneity so I don't just mean outer appereance.
Amsterdam (or near Amsterdam):
- Calling on a strangers house who shows signs that they graduated from some school and congratulate them and make friends with them
- Going into a club for free by pretending you're a tourist to the bouncer so that he'll forgive you that you 'forgot your bracelet'.
- Going out alone, approach a tourist you don't know and decide to party with him! Eventually I was in an afterparty with him and 20 other people we met somewhere in a café.
- Being 'beaten up' by 20 females of a hen party :-P
- Getting a number from a girl you think is attractive in less than 10 seconds (my bus stop didn't wait for me)
London:
- Approaching 7 groups of girls and almost get everyones phone number! (I'm dutch maybe it helps but I just asked almost every group "where is picadilly circus" or something like that)
- Meeting a gay guy in London that has a dad who owns 3 night clubs in the centre of the city.
Stockholm:
- going into a party for 23 and older while you're 18 (tip: sneak in when the bouncer doesn't look, yes it requires luck)
- Stockholm to Amsterdam: make it a mission to approach and talk to everyone on the plane and see what happens! You'll hear a lot of cool stories.
- In Stockholm there were so many things that happened, because I wanted to meet every beautiful girl and cool guy I saw. And there are a lot of cool guys and beautiful girls! :-) And beauty can also be a form of spontaneity so I don't just mean outer appereance.
Mijn eerste stapjes met bloggen (+ 1e en laatste keer in het Nederlands)
wat ik laatst had meegemaakt leek me wel leuk om met jullie te delen.
Ik liep vandaag met een vriend in Amsterdam en hij liet me iets ongelooflijks zien. Hij beweerde dat hij mensen kon afstoppen op straat en ze kon aanspreken en een praatje met ze kon maken.
Nu heb ik zelf ook vaak wel het idee gehad en het bewijs gehad dat het kan. Maar meestal was ik dan heel erg blij vanwege iets en dan sta ik sowieso heel erg open voor dingen, dus ook mensen. Dan denk ik er ook niet over na dan 'gebeurt het gewoon af en toe'. Maar nu voelde ik me totaal niet in die stemming. Ik voelde me gewoon rustig. En kreeg het idee als ik het nu zou doen dat ik zoiets dan op 'voorbedachte rade' zou doen omdat het niet spontaan was maar van tevoren al afgesproken.
Voor de grap daag ik hem uit en hij deed wat hij beweerde, alleen de twee mensen die hij probeerde 'af te stoppen' liepen langs hem heen alsof hij niks betekende. Maar in zijn 'falen' zag ik reden tot een leuk sociaal experiment op het moment dat je niet echt heel veel zelfvertrouwen hebt.
Dus ik stop voor de lol mensen af en geef de mensen die ik afstop een welgemeend compliment (ik stopte alleen mensen af die me interessant leken) en zag dus gewoon dat het kon. Je kon dus eigenlijk gewoon echt mensen ontmoeten op straat! Opvallend was dat bijna iedereen ook echt stopte om te luisteren wat ik te zeggen had.
En op het laatst ontmoette ik een stelletje en 'raakte aan de praat' met vooral de jongen en bleek dat hij cello speelt (en ik maak muziek op de pc) en nu heb ik zijn emailadres. Voor als ik een keer een echt instrument wilde opnemen (zijn woorden).
Ik had zelf nooit gedacht dat zoiets op zo'n manier kon gebeuren, ondanks dat ik al redelijk veel heb 'gezien' met mensen ontmoeten op locaties waar het niet heel snel gebeurt. Haha ik vind het gewoon super! En ik kan dit soort type inzichten handig gebruiken als ik door Europa aan het reizen ben! (ik ben geslaagd voor VWO, next stop Europe!)
Ik ga nu weer uit nieuwsgierigheid hetzelfde in mijn eentje doen wat ik toen met mijn vriend deed. Al is het alleen al om minder verlegen te worden en meer mensenkennis te krijgen. Niet dat ik super verlegen ben alleen soms houdt het me nog wel tegen. Verder ben ik ook nieuwsgierig wat er nog meer kan gebeuren.
Ik liep vandaag met een vriend in Amsterdam en hij liet me iets ongelooflijks zien. Hij beweerde dat hij mensen kon afstoppen op straat en ze kon aanspreken en een praatje met ze kon maken.
Nu heb ik zelf ook vaak wel het idee gehad en het bewijs gehad dat het kan. Maar meestal was ik dan heel erg blij vanwege iets en dan sta ik sowieso heel erg open voor dingen, dus ook mensen. Dan denk ik er ook niet over na dan 'gebeurt het gewoon af en toe'. Maar nu voelde ik me totaal niet in die stemming. Ik voelde me gewoon rustig. En kreeg het idee als ik het nu zou doen dat ik zoiets dan op 'voorbedachte rade' zou doen omdat het niet spontaan was maar van tevoren al afgesproken.
Voor de grap daag ik hem uit en hij deed wat hij beweerde, alleen de twee mensen die hij probeerde 'af te stoppen' liepen langs hem heen alsof hij niks betekende. Maar in zijn 'falen' zag ik reden tot een leuk sociaal experiment op het moment dat je niet echt heel veel zelfvertrouwen hebt.
Dus ik stop voor de lol mensen af en geef de mensen die ik afstop een welgemeend compliment (ik stopte alleen mensen af die me interessant leken) en zag dus gewoon dat het kon. Je kon dus eigenlijk gewoon echt mensen ontmoeten op straat! Opvallend was dat bijna iedereen ook echt stopte om te luisteren wat ik te zeggen had.
En op het laatst ontmoette ik een stelletje en 'raakte aan de praat' met vooral de jongen en bleek dat hij cello speelt (en ik maak muziek op de pc) en nu heb ik zijn emailadres. Voor als ik een keer een echt instrument wilde opnemen (zijn woorden).
Ik had zelf nooit gedacht dat zoiets op zo'n manier kon gebeuren, ondanks dat ik al redelijk veel heb 'gezien' met mensen ontmoeten op locaties waar het niet heel snel gebeurt. Haha ik vind het gewoon super! En ik kan dit soort type inzichten handig gebruiken als ik door Europa aan het reizen ben! (ik ben geslaagd voor VWO, next stop Europe!)
Ik ga nu weer uit nieuwsgierigheid hetzelfde in mijn eentje doen wat ik toen met mijn vriend deed. Al is het alleen al om minder verlegen te worden en meer mensenkennis te krijgen. Niet dat ik super verlegen ben alleen soms houdt het me nog wel tegen. Verder ben ik ook nieuwsgierig wat er nog meer kan gebeuren.
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